It’s okay to not be okay. Nobody’s perfect.
We paste on these phrases when we – or someone near us – is feeling overwhelmed, less than, or fighting the battle of life and sin.
I have heard these from well-meaning friends, and told myself these in the past season when I have felt overwhelmed with the weight of my humanity. The comfort that I hoped would come from these phrases, even the truth of them – I am not perfect, but Christ in me is enough – still weighed me down as I fought for perfection.
To be completely transparent my pride is almost always the weight that holds me back from running passionately after Christ. I take pride in my busyness and perfectionism, I measure my life against other women and ministry leaders that I feel like have met the “mark”.
I would be the first to let you know that I have not arrived, and every day I wake up and rotate between the questions of if I am “too much” as a friend/co-worker/woman/leader; or If I am actually being obedient to Christ. And sometimes that is accompanied by the sinking feeling of loss when I look at what obedience to Christ looks like in my life during this season. That’s real life.
I am drenched in my own pride and a mix of conviction over my lack of obedience, and desire for the Lord. And that’s not to say that they are even areas that others would think of as disobedience, but anything that is of more importance in my life than Christ is not a good thing.
You know what? That’s okay.
What? It’s okay to be a mess? Yes.
This is so deeply personal, but I know it goes so wide. I know that you have also scrolled through social media and compared your hip size to the other girls on Instagram – because you feel lacking or maybe you need to feel better about yourself…”at least I don’t look like_______”. I know you have seen another engagement or relationship status and felt a slight tinge of something in your heart. You have seen another baby picture or job promotion and felt as though you still haven’t really “made it”.
We desire to be enough, to be able to measure our beauty, accomplishments, and relationships to a standard, whether it’s been created by society or your own personal list of goals.
The good news is this, those ideals, those things you have been putting on yourself for who you think you should be or who you feel you can never break free from; those are not who you are. People can tell you who and what is best for you, and that can still not be rooted in Scripture.
What does this mean? This means that the world has no say over who you are. You don’t have to do another crash diet to fit the right body type, you don’t have to date that guy because people told you how great he is even though you don’t feel attracted to him. You can get over the guy who makes you question your worth – and it’s okay if it takes time. You don’t have to study that major that you don’t feel called to do. Friend, whatever this is for you, these things – these pressures – they do not make or break who you are.
Today, that sinking feeling that threatens to overwhelm your heart, the area in which you feel deficient, the pressures you feel you have to live up to; they don’t define you. Christ has defined you. He is the one who fills you.
“God has put all things under the authority of Christ and has made him head over all things for the benefit of the church. And the church is his body; it is made full and complete by Christ, who fills all things everywhere with himself.” – Ephesians 1:22-23 (NLT).
In the moments that you feel lacking, I pray that you – that we – go back to these verses in Ephesians 1. We never lack because of our position in Christ. Verse 23 doesn’t skip you; Christ is the head of the body – the church (which we all make up), who is made full and complete because of Him. Catch the last part of that verse – Christ, who fills all things everywhere with himself.
There are no gaps in Christ. As a follower of the Messiah you have been given the power to demolish strongholds. Not only that, the areas where you feel like you are not enough or you are too much, those “gaps” in your life, they don’t have to remain empty.
My prayer today, for myself and for you is that we slow down and put on the goodness of Christ. He who fills all in all. He who has made you “very good” – the words that defined all of creation in its perfect state was spoken of you. You with your gifting’s, callings, dreams, desires that are unique to you. You don’t have to be anyone else, you don’t have to wonder why you weren’t chosen by that person; because you were chosen by the One who holds the world, who puts breath in your lungs this very moment.
You don’t have to be perfect, and you don’t have to feel like you are lacking anything. You are not too much. I pray that you get to take 5, 10, 60 minutes to yourself today spend time praying for God to reveal areas in your life that He needs to fill with more of Himself. He will do it, He always comes through.
I understand the tears and heartache and pain that come from life. There is always something, no matter your vocation or your stage of life. You know what, it’s hard, and sometimes it just plain stinks. I am in the trenches with you, I write this not because I have accomplished this, but because I am in it too. But, if this is what it takes in my life for me to look more like Christ, then I will continue to trust in what I know is true. He is good. He is good to me. He is good at being God.
Press on. He is always worth it. He who fills all in all.
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