When I was a little girl I would always wear this white nightgown around, I thought it made me look like a princess. I would twirl in it, I would play tea parties in it, but more than anything I would pretend I was a bride in it.
From the time I was a little girl that desire to be a wife and a mom reigned in my heart, I would dream of the day I would get married. I would plan out the ceremony with my friends, and we would journal it on our Winnie the Pooh journals. As I got older and entered high school godly women mentored my friends and I, and as we learned the good and hard parts of marriage the desire kept growing. We read all the cliche marriage and dating books. We would stay up into the wee hours of the night looking at wedding magazines even though it would be years and years until one of us would get married.
As a woman especially we long for that relationship. We dream of a husband. My dreams and goals for my life centered on the fact that someday I would be married. I was going to do ministry because I was confident that I would marry a man who was in ministry, not necessarily because I would be doing ministry as a single woman. That wasn’t even a thing, was it?
Fortunately I know wonderful women who are serving the Lord in full-time ministry and they too are single. As I continued to grow in the Lord I realized that He can call us and put desires on our heart for a purpose. Sometimes they don’t end up looking how WE picture; but they’re always so much better.
Today I get to be a part of a Church that is growing and thriving, we get to think through the hard parts of ministry, and rejoice in the exciting things that God is doing in our community. I enjoy getting to be a small voice in a large movement, and everything I do has a purpose and is making a difference for the Gospel (because even the small remedial tasks matter). You know what else, i’m single.
The Lord is so good, because there are days that even the mention of that “s” word makes me cringe and want to eat a tub of Ben and Jerry’s. However, there are seasons where I realize that if God gave me everything I prayed for at the time, and the specific way I asked for it I would miss out on the good things He wanted to do in my life.
There is a beautiful thing to be married young, to serve alongside of your husband in ministry. That’s not my story. No, my story is that I get to learn and grow in ministry as a single woman, I get to experience the ups and downs of my early twenties with my girl friends. We get to laugh, cry, and chat about singleness, our longings for marriage, joys and pains of ministry and life with each other. I want to enjoy these moments because they won’t always be the story of my life.
There is a joy in each season, a joy in marriage; but a sweet and beautiful joy in singleness too.
The Lord calls us to live out His Gospel wherever we are, in whatever season we are in. The Bible says that He has given us everything we need for life and godliness. That means, if you’re single, in this season God has given you everything you need. You may feel like you “NEED” a husband, but ultimately you’re saying that God’s plan for you is lacking. Ouch, right?
I don’t know about you, but at this point in any “enjoy singleness” talk/blog/book I really want to punch someone in the face. However, I do know how you’re feeling. You’re reading from the girl who has wanted to be married for the majority of my 24 years, the girl who has heard “if you’re just satisfied in Christ” and “when you stop looking” talks about 30 million times. BUT I am a single woman, not single in the “I’m kind of single, but in 6 months i’ll be engaged”. No, i’m single -single. So, press on.
Whatever season you are in, friend, live it fully for the Gospel. You will not regret spending your singleness serving the Lord faithfully. He hears your prayers, sees your tears, He sympathizes with us; but He also is a good dad who will do things for our good.
In this season you can better serve God in your singleness than in a relationship. That’s the point of marriage anyways, it’s a physical demonstration of the Gospel. The sanctifying process of loving a broken human being selflessly and humbly giving up your wants for their good. So, if you’re single then right now you can demonstrate the Gospel better where you’re at, but only if you do something with your days instead of wishing them away.
Oh, I am preaching to the choir a lot of the time, but continue to walk worthy of the calling to which you’ve been called, friends.
I have one desire now – to live a life of reckless abandon for the Lord, putting all my energy and strength into it.
If you’re the opposite of what i’ve described, maybe you LOVE being single. That’s awesome! It’s a wonderful feeling, isn’t it? Keep fully pursuing Christ. Don’t give into the “I can do it on my own” mentality, because even if you are a “strong, independent women” you will always need Jesus. Always.
So, if you’re single for a week or for 50 years. The Lord doesn’t withhold good things from his children. He has amazing plans for you, walk confidently in Him and know that He is using you in a mighty way in whatever season you’re in for your good and His glory.
May He continue to do immeasurably more in your life than you can ever ask or imagine.
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