Hi. I’m about to write on singleness. I just want you to be prepared.
I graduated college from a place that had the unofficial motto “Ring by Spring or your money back”. Which, I would like to say, as someone who was not a recipient of said ring, my loan holders would like their money back. Thank You.
Looking back on my years in college, I’m so grateful that I am ring free today. What did she just write? It’s true. I think marriage is awesome, I do someday hope to be married. Right now, not so much. Why?
I think, as I said before, looking back it’s hard to be in a place that has such a pressure to be married. Not because marriage is bad, but I think sometimes, for people desperately wanting to be married it’s a breeding ground for unrealistic expectations. Not just unrealistic expectations, but also desires put on a status rather than Christ. Now, i’m going to address what I mean in a minute, but first let me tell you something that I heard so many times, that finally by osmosis became planted in my head:
Our calling is not a status, a job, or a thing, our primary calling is to the Gospel. Everything else is secondary.
Yes, that means marriage. Marriage is so good. But marriage isn’t the have all end all to happiness in life. That’s what I want single girls to know, and believe tonight. God has so much more in store for you in this season, but you have to be willing to TRUST that, and faithfully walk in your calling.
There’s something wrong with the idea of singleness. It’s like the automatic response to a “no” when asked if you’re seeing someone is “Really? Oh don’t worry the right one will come along” or “It’s going to be okay, someone is going to realize how great you are” or “I just can’t believe that, you’re so pretty and smart”. Thank You well-wishers. I am pretty and smart, oh wait, you feel bad for me? Please don’t.
It’s like if singles were given the choice between leprosy and singleness they would immediately choose leprosy. Because dear heavens nothing can be worse than being “alone”.
All joking aside, i’ve already written about finding joy in singleness (<-) so instead i’m going to talk about a few things i’ve learned from sitting under really great married couples, and mentors the past few years.
But now I am coming to you, and these things I speak in the world, that they may have my joy fulfilled in themselves. I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. And for their sake I consecrate myself,that they also may be sanctified in truth. – John 17:13-19
What’s True? Christ’s word is true.
Christ has the authority to dictate your future.
Your identity is not dependent on your ability, status, or career. What defines you is the Holiness given to you by Christ.
Sanctify (set a part for Holy service to God) them in Truth. What truth? Your word is truth (the Bible).
Abide in my word, that they may know you are my disciples -John 8:31
ABIDE. Remain, constant while waiting on.
We abide in God by remaining in the word.
Now, back to singleness. It’s natural that we desire human relationships, to be void of that would mean you are emotionless or not living. The human soul though is THIRSTY, there are souls drinking from whatever the world has to offer. Which in my mind automatically makes me think of global missions, women washing clothes in the dirty, polluted water with temples and idols in the background. That’s all that they have. People are so desperately seeking, but never hearing or finding the truth… another topic for another day. What i’m saying, the thirst we have looks different for everyone. For some, though, it’s relationships.
As a child of God, we have access to drink from the only water that satisfies. Why would you spit that out? Why would you that out and trade it for what seemingly satisfies? If what you want is a godly marriage, well know that your satisfaction can’t rely on that end result. You will never find joy. No, in the meantime, and even when married, you are still needing to drink from the word daily.
So, our calling is primarily the Gospel, Christ has authority to dictate your future but continually abide in Him.
Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children and walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God – Ephesians 5:1-2
Are relationships bad? No. It probably sounds like i’m against them. I’m not, I think they are awesome. I have had so many tear filled conversations with teens and peers that say how much they regret some of the relationships they’ve been in. How they were trying to satisfy, and were left broken hearted.
Please be reminded i’m for relationships. Godly, Christ-centered, marriage-in-the-future, intentional relationships. I’m not for trying to fill the void in your heart with anything but Christ.
Not because I have mastered life, but that is what Christ is teaching me daily. Reminding me that He is the only water that satisfies.
Is there something you delight in more than Christ?
The only thing I can give you is to cling to Christ.
Abide in Christ in the waiting, trust that He will satisfy every longing you have, because He is the author of all peace. HE is the delights in You, and He has created you to make much of Him. Live out your calling in Christ by sharing the Gospel. Serve the Lord, seek after Jesus, and I promise you that you will never run dry. He gives you all you need for life and godliness.
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